


How To Celebrate Halloween

by ready_to_kick_some_ass



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Deke being precious, F/M, Family, Family Bonding, Fluff, Halloween
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-11 16:39:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16479155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ready_to_kick_some_ass/pseuds/ready_to_kick_some_ass
Summary: Deke wants to celebrate Halloween with his family.But there's a problem ... They're not as alright as they used to be, still struggling with the aftereffects of what happened. So they need a little push into the right direction, Deke decides and makes a plan.A (late) Halloween ficlet. Enjoy :)





	How To Celebrate Halloween

Deke opens his new pocket calendar and carefully draws a red circle around the 31st of October. He counts the days until then and smiles. Just three more days left. Then, it’s Halloween.

Halloween. The name is strange yet so familiar. He never celebrated it himself, but he knows what it means, from the stories of his mother. He knows, what people use to do at that day.

Kids dress up as anything they want and go around to collect sweets. He thinks it’s a really nice concept. It makes him a bit sad, that he never had the chance, to experience this himself. There wasn’t a family. There weren’t festivals. Only carefully whispered stories about the past.  
   
But well, now he’s on earth and he has a family. He has Nana and Gramps. He could celebrate Halloween with them.

The only problem is, that they are … not exactly alright.

It’s difficult.

It’s difficult for Deke to understand or describe what’s going on. But he senses, that they are different.

They are silent around each other these days. Silent and too polite.

They both go to therapy. They never talk about it, but they come home thoughtful and tired. Fitz takes medication for the voices in his head. He had to change them at least three times, because there had been side effects like nausea or concentration problems.

They both call it recovery and Deke can’t help but being shocked about how long it takes and how difficult it is. He has been readring a lot about mental health problems lately, because he wants to understand better, and maybe help, if he can.  
  
Sometimes, he overhears things, that worry him. Things like Fitz telling Jemma, that he feels like a replacement. That he can’t stand what he doesn’t know. That he can’t understand, why Jemma’s still here, although she connects things to him, that he doesn’t remember doing. And she reacts sad and angry, calling him an idiot under tears. Saying that she loves him and it’s okay and they will get through this.

They don’t seem to know what “this” even means, but they fall silent and just look at each other.

  
Deke thinks about Halloween again and sighs.

He takes his laptop and reads about how families around the world use to spend Halloween. It's fascinating him.

It fills his heart with longing.

He really wants to do something on that day. Something nice and calm. Something family like. And … Maybe it could be something they need. A little push into the right direction.

Deke starts to make a plan. 

 

*

_October 30_

 

„Gramps? Gramps!“

Fitz flinches, looking up from the empty paper he has been staring on for at least half an hour. Deke walks into the room, his eyes sparkling in that certain lively gleam that implies he either has an idea he considers as brilliant or he just found a new thing to eat and wants more of it.

His grandson stops in front of the table, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “It’s tomorrow!” He exclaims.  

Fitz stares up at him, frowning in confusion. “What is tomorrow?” He asks.

Deke raises an eyebrow. “Halloween Gramps! Halloween is tomorrow. My mother told me about it. How you used to celebrate it together. As a family.”

“Oh.” Fitz scratches the back of his head nervously. Another thing he doesn't remember but exists in the memory of another person he knows. Great. He didn't spend a single thought about Halloween this year. Jemma didn’t mention it too.

“So,” Deke rubs his hands. “What are we going to do?”

Fitz shakes his head. He starts to draw a circle on the paper. That way it doesn’t look so empty anymore. “Halloween is for little kids, Deke,” he murmurs evasively.

Deke shakes his head. “That’s not true. I mean, we don’t have to dress up and walk through the village collecting sweets … But we could watch a scary movie together. I never did that before.” He looks hopeful.  

Fitz sighs. “I don’t know …”

“Didn’t you celebrate Halloween together with Nana?” Deke investigates.

Fitz shrugs. “Not really. I never was fond of social events. She used to go to Halloween parties with some friends. Once she dragged me with her. I didn’t like it. We left soon, had pizza and watched a movie in her room, which was more enjoyable. And, well, for the last few years, Halloween or any other festivals really didn’t play a role in our lives. Other things … like saving the world, were more important.” He can’t help the hint of bitterness that creeps into his voice.  

Deke nods understandingly. “And when you were a child?” He asks curiously. “What did you do back then?”

Fitz swallows. He doesn’t talk about his childhood often. For many reasons.

But Deke stares at him wide-eyed and hopeful.

Fitz sighs. He searches for some happier moments and involuntarily smiles. “My mother and I … We used to start the day with pumpkin pie,” he says, rolling the sleeves of his shirt up.  
“My mother made a lot of it, so she could share with our neighbours. After, we spent the day carving pumpkins. We usually had three or four standing in front of the house. The cat that visited us sometimes didn’t like them at all. She used to growl and scream at them,” he remembers, laughing a bit.

Deke grins.

“We used to dress up as Star Wars characters,” Fitz continues, slowly getting lost in those brighter images of the past. “She always went as Leia. She loves Leia.”

“And you?” Deke asks, grinning. He did watch all Star War parts some time ago, after Fitz told him it's a must watch.

Fitz looks aside a bit embarrassed, but still smiling. “Well … Mostly I dressed up as C3PO. But once as R2D2.”

“Really?” Deke gasps. The image that appears in his head is quite amusing and he can’t help but giggle.

“Really,” Fitz nods. “We went out but stayed in the neighbourhood. We visited some people my mother knows. They gave me a lot of sweets. Enough for a few months. After we’d come home, we spent the rest of the evening watching a movie. Neither of us liked the really scary movies. But we loved “The Nightmare Before Christmas”. It became our traditional Halloween movie.”

Deke doesn’t know the movie, but he tries to memorize the title. For later. “Sounds like you spent a lot of great Halloweens with great-grandmother,” he says, smiling dreamily. “I’d really like to meet her one day. She seems to be a great mother.”

“Yeah. She is,” Fitz murmurs. The smile slowly disappears from his face. “She is the best.” _And it’s a shame that she didn’t get the son she deserves_ , he adds in silence.

Deke looks at him like he knows, what he’s thinking.  

Fitz feels uncomfortable under his gaze and lowers his head to stare back at the empty paper on the table.

After some time, Deke leaves the room, murmuring something to himself.

Fitz wonders if he gave up the thought of celebrating Halloween, and for some reason feels sad about it. Maybe I destroyed it for him, because I said it’s for children, he thinks, and quickly adds some guilt into his sadness. A familiar mix. He sighs.

 

*

 

_October 31_

 

Deke stares at the shelves in front of him, frowning. He taps a fingertip against his chin, sighing in frustration. He just can’t decide. He would love to buy everything to try it out. But of course, he doesn’t have that much money. So he has to pick. And picking isn’t something he’s good in …

Finally, after a lot of arguing with himself, he goes for some bags of crisps, a large box of popcorn and some gummy bear flavours. After some hesitance, he also grabs chocolate bars. Better more than less, he thinks.

His next station is the film distribution.

He still remembers the title Fitz gave him, so he finds the movie he’s searching quite quickly, holding it in his hand the whole way home, feeling proud.

 _This is going to be nice_ , he thinks. Or rather _hopes_ it will be.

 

*

  
When Deke comes home, Fitz is sitting on the couch, reading some science book. Deke stops in the door for a moment, looking at his grandfather, who seems to switch back every now and then, like he missed a sentence or forgot what he read. He looks tired again.  

Deke knows that Nana is in town today. She has her therapist’s appointment. But she will be back in the evening. Just to the right time …

Eventually, Fitz notices Deke, looking up at him questioningly.

Deke smiles, feeling his heart beating excitedly in his chest. “I brought us something,” he says. He raises his hand holding the movie.

Fitz raises an eyebrow in surprise. “The Nightmare Before Christmas. Really?” He asks, smiling weakly.

Deke nods and hands the movie to Fitz, who takes it, staring at it with a puzzled look on his face.

Deke beams. “I have more …” He goes to the kitchen, picking up the huge bowl he filled with all the sweets he bought. It’s a colourful mix of gummy berries, crisps, chocolate bars and popcorn. When he carries the bowl into the living room, Fitz makes a surprised noise. “Deke. Did you buy the whole shop?” He asks with a hint of amusement in his voice.

Deke shrugs. “It has to last the whole evening,” he explains cheerfully.

Fitz wipes his face. “Deke …”

“I can’t wait to see this movie,” Deke says, throwing himself on the couch, placing the bowl with sweets on his lap.  

Fitz exhales shakily. He looks at the movie in his hands, swallows and finally nods. “Alright …”

 

They sit next to each other on the couch, watching the movie. Deke starts to eat the sweets immediately, while Fitz is more hesitant. But when Deke hands him the bowl invitingly, he sighs and takes a handful of popcorn and crisps. “Thanks,” he mumbles.

They lean back, both chuckling at a certain scene.

 

This is how Jemma finds them, when she comes home.

The surprise on her face quickly changes into fondness.

“You’re having a good time?” She asks quietly.

Deke and Fitz nod.

“Good,” she murmurs, looking like she’s feeling a bit lost. She shifts her weight, wiping a strand of hair out of her face.

Fitz clears his throat. “Do you want to join us?”

Jemma smiles carefully. “I’d love to.”

 

She joins them on the couch.

Deke ends up sandwiched between his grandparents. That means he’s the one who holds the bowl of sweets, while his grandparents reach into it from time to time.

He feels great.

It’s warm and comfy. From time to time they all laugh about a scene in the movie or someone makes a comment.

_Yeah_ , Deke thinks. _This is family._ Maybe they sometimes need a little push or a reminder, that they are better together, that they only can be alright together, but it’s okay. He can do that. He can show them. Remind them. It’s okay. As long as they find back to each other.

Soon, the movie is over, and the end credits start rolling. Deke goes to the toilet. He has had to pee for at least half an hour, but he didn’t want to disturb the warm atmosphere. Or the movie, which really was great.

When he comes back into the room, his grandparents are holding hands, looking at each other warmly. Jemma strokes her free hand over Fitz’s cheek and he leans into the touch, closing his eyes.

Deke smiles to himself.

They will be alright.

 

Later, some children knock at the door. They’re dressed up as all kind of horror creatures and Deke acts like he’s scared while he throws the remaining sweets into their bags. They giggle excitedly, their eyes widening when they see their bags filling quickly.

One of kids even is dressed up as R2D2.

“Nice costume,” Fitz, who suddenly stands beside Deke, his arms crossed over his chest, tells the kid.

“Thanks Sir,” the girl squeaks and the group runs away, laughing.

 

Deke looks after them, wishing for one moment, he could be one of them. Just to make the experience. But it’s no use living in a imaginary past. His family is right here and every experience he makes together with them, is worth so much more than every dream he could have.

Fitz lays a hand on his shoulder and smiles. “Thanks Deke,” he says. “It has been a nice evening.”

“It isn’t over yet,” Deke tells him. “I read that there’s a really scary movie on now. It’s called Insidious. It was on all the "most scary movie"-lists in the internet!”

Fitz pales. “Um. You really want to watch _that_?” He asks, laughing nervously.

Deke nods eagerly, although he’s feeling a bit scared himself. “I need to make the experience to watch a really scary movie at least once,” he says seriously. “And we have Nana there to comfort us Gramps.”

“You’re right … Let’s do it,” Fitz says with a deep breath.

They go back inside, smiling at each other.  

 

**Author's Note:**

> Don't watch Insidious O_o 
> 
> I'm not a native speaker and always grateful for being corrected! I'm constantly trying to improve my English, so please don't hesitate to tell me about mistakes. <3
> 
> Visit me on tumblr: [ready-to-kick-some-ass](https://ready-to-kick-some-ass.tumblr.com/) :)


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